Nagging-A Constant Mental Distress
September 30, 2007
If you are constantly being told what to do, then sometimes this can go overboard. It creates different reactions in people. Some tend to walk away from the situation while others get defensive and in extreme situations, it can even stimulate a physical response.
“When someone limits your freedom of choice and, as a result, you end up wanting that restricted option, you are being reactant,” says Gavan Fitzsimons, professor of marketing and psychology at Duke University. He co-authored a study on the subject, which appeared online this year in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, a publication focused on research about human social behavior.
“People who are reactant perceive everybody as controlling,” Fitzsimons says. “They think everybody is trying to make me do something even if it’s just a friendly recommendation from a friend who is trying to help you make a better decision. You perceive it as a threat to your freedom.” The problem is that this type of response doesn’t always lead to great decision making and may cause people to act in ways that don’t benefit them.
In the study, Fitzsimons and Tanya Chartrand, associate professor of marketing and psychology at Duke, wanted to see whether reactant people were even conscious they were acting this way. In one experiment participants named two significant people in their lives, a controlling person who wanted them to work hard and a controlling person who wanted them to have fun. Then, before solving a series of anagrams, they were subliminally exposed to flashes of one of the names.
People exposed to the name of the person who wanted them to work hard performed significantly worse than those exposed to the other name. In other words, they unconsciously acted counterproductively because they felt someone was trying to encroach on their freedom.
In the real world, this could translate to a reactant person merely thinking of his or her boss, someone important and controlling who expects hard work, and thus wanting to disobey orders or find other ways to rebel. “They might be more likely to slack off or be late for meetings,” Fitzsimons says. “For people trying to motivate you to work this could be very frustrating.” Fitzsimons estimates that as much as 10% to 15% of the population is extremely reactant.
“If you work with or are married to this type of person, there are one or two strategies that might make life easier. Instead of telling them to buy milk, try asking if it there is anything they are running low on at home,” suggests Chartrand. “Let them think getting milk is their idea. Or try a little reverse psychology.”
If you think you are reactant and it is affecting your life, your best bet is to recognize what is going on and admit you have an issue. Therapy might be a good option. Excerpt taken from Forbes.com
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